a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
