So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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