The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
