Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
