Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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