I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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