Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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