Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
