Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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