i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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