he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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