its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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