Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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