Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
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