Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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