Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
