apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
