Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
