Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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