I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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