I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
