You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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