Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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