Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
