i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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