love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
