Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
