Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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