She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
