I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
