what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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