sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
