grandma shit on top of the toilet
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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