My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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