for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
