D3 body, D1 cock
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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