I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
