I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
