Duck Duck Cougar?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
