dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
