I just saw a hot homeless man
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
