we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
