I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
