Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
