In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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