The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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