bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
