It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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