Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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