we have pet lesbian snakes
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Bring me that man meat
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
