so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
